TGPFF Week One Power Rankings
Hi everyone,
I’m sorry for how tardy the power rankings are this week. I had a long week of work and to be honest, week 1 rankings are not super fun to write. Every team in the league is still pretty good. None of your rosters have been obliterated by injury, no Bye weeks means team depth isn’t really a factor yet, none of you have made a bad trade. The championship is won with stellar in-season management and cultivation of depth at the key positions, so in the next few weeks the cream will begin to rise to the top. Either way, we’ve got to start somewhere – here are the rankings.
1. Waller? I Hardly Know Her (1-0, 171.36 PF)
Congrats on claiming the first #1 ranking in this year’s power rankings. Your team went wild to the tune of 171.36 points behind huge games from Tyler Lockett, Darren Waller (19 targets? Wow), and Deebo “That’s My Bike, Punk” Samuel. All this despite your very dangerous Titans duo underperforming. Impressive! A dominating win, and more importantly … not all that fluky, either. Definitely a potential championship caliber roster.
2. In It 4 Snacks (1-0, 137.98 PF)
Like Tina, you put up a healthy score without big games from your first three picks. TJ Hockenson looks primed to break out this year and D’Andre Swift was a pleasant surprise in week one after a lot of people faded him leading up to the draft. Adam Thielen will give you some stinkers this year, but overall, you’ve got to be encouraged with what you saw last week. You fell $5 short in your attempt to control the 49ers backfield, that could come back to bite you.
3. Judge Jeudy (1-0, 142.16 PF)
Richie had the second highest point total in the league last week. Christian McCaffrey was the highest scoring RB in the league in week one despite not scoring a touchdown, David Montgomery looked like a bona fide RB1 against a tough Rams defense, and Tom Brady was slinging it on Thursday night en route to a 27 point game. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all good news. Your team namesake Jerry Jeudy is out for 6-8 weeks with a leg injury and you dropped Rob Gronkowski right before his 29 point week. Its kind of hard to field a non-competitive team when you’ve got CMC on your team, so I’m expecting more of the same.
4. Thou Shenault Pass (1-0, 128.54 PF)
Congratulations on your first win in TGPFF! Any time you can exceed 120 points, you’re putting yourself in a decent position to succeed. Travis Kelce’s consistent dominance makes the streakiness of Mike Evans more palatable. A strong but not especially convincing W puts you at the 4 spot this week.
5. Chubby Choder (1-0, 125.2 PF)
I felt your pain when you drafted Miles Sanders. I think that was an auto-pick because I know you probably wanted off that right after last year. But this week you got a good showing from him and pretty much everyone not named Julio Jones. Chubb looked fantastic and if Lamar Jackson stops fumbling, he looks like he’ll bounce back from last years disappointing effort. Good call sitting Saquon this week and even better call taking a chance on Jamarr Chase with your 7th round pick. That was a nice little discount for a guy who had a rough training camp but is supremely talented and has instant chemistry with the team’s QB. Saquon’s uptick in touches Thursday night is also very encouraging.
6. Establish the Fun (1-0, 126.8 PF)
I’ll set the scene: It’s 6 am in Amsterdam, you’re sound asleep. You don’t know it, but you’re perilously close to losing to Kimi despite a furious comeback after Kimi’s Dak Prescott/Amari Cooper battery ran wild on Thursday night. The only player you have left is Sony Michel, who hadn’t seen the field for almost the entire game. It’s looking like Kimi will pull it out. At some point in the second half, for no clear reason, the Rams bring in Sony Michel for two plays. He rushes the ball one time for two yards. He then stays in the pocket for pass protection. This two yard run was the difference. Congrats on the win! But due to the circumstances, we’ve got you a tick lower than the others. The Gus Edwards injury was a big blow, I’m surprised you didn’t make a claim on an RB while smoking a joint and sipping an espresso at a coffee shop overlooking the Amstel River.
7. Koo Koo Kanga Roo (1-0, 126.62 PF)
Tough break, but no need to hit the panic button. Breaking 120 points despite Ekeler receiving no targets and Najee Harris getting bottled up is still impressive. Dak + Amari were amazing on Thursday and you’ve got a few really interesting bench pieces you have the luxury of waiting on. I would drop Younghoe Koo though, I think more than anyone he’s holding your team back.
8. Casa Gronka (0-1, 116.76 PF)
You knew it was going to be tough when Zeke did his best 2020 impression on Thursday night against the Bucs, but you kept it interesting. Darrel Henderson looked fantastic against Chicago, Russ cooked, and Deandre Hopkins had a typical impressive game, but your other receivers were a bit disappointing and the Ravens got torched by Derek Carr. The Fitzpatrick injury isn’t great for the future of your Washington Football Team stack, but Heinicke looked pretty competent Thursday. Tough start, but I still think you might have the best overall roster.
9. Kiss my Bass (0-1, 115.1 PF)
Outside of Kyler, most of your team was pretty ho-hum. The biggest story for your team is the loss of Raheem Mostert for the year – great job paying up to snag Elijah Mitchell! I don’t think you could have afforded to come up short on him given your relatively razor thin RB depth. Remember last year when Christian McCaffrey went down and Kristina let Kevin snag Mike Davis en route to a championship? You really hate to see it. Your team is strong but how you manage your running back depth will play a big role in your season-long success.
10. Discount Double Choke (0-1, 115.12 PF)
I thought I had it in the bag early on Sunday before Kristina’s WRs buried me. I was excited to draft the stack of Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams and they repaid my investment with a combined 11.92 points as the Saints kicked their ass up and down Jacksonville’s football field. Even an average game from those two would’ve put me in the 125 point range; not nearly enough to catch Tina, but enough to be competitive against most teams.
11. Ridley Me This (0-1, 112.28 PF)
If Kyle Shanahan didn’t bone everyone with Brandon Aiyuk and you had the advanced knowledge that he wouldn’t play, you would’ve beaten Dan. Just another reason to hate the 49ers, I guess. There’s nothing much to be concerned about – your RBs looked good, the Falcons probably won’t suck that hard every week, and Cooper Kupp looks like he may outshine Robert Woods most weeks.
12. Kevin’s Little Beauties (0-1, 99.38 PF)
You were the only team to score less than 100 points this week – Clyde Edwards-Helaire, Mark Andrews, Allen Robinson, and your vaunted 8th round pick TB Buccaneers defense all disappointed. This week is likely to go a lot better for you – Justin Hebert @ DAL and all your WR/TE matchups are pretty stellar. I think you break 130 points this week.
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Week Two Predictions
In It 4 Snacks vs. Koo Koo Kanga Roo
I think Kimi’s Dallas stack continues their impressive performance vs the Chargers and Kimi wins pretty comfortably. I think Aaron Jones might actually get out-touched by AJ Dillon given how bad the Lions run defense is. It’s not hard to imagine the backups in the game midway through the third quarter.
Waller? I hardly Know Her vs. Thou Shenault Pass
I think Derrick Henry and AJ Brown bounce back vs the Seahawks and Kristina coasts to victory. Antonio Gibson put up a pretty disappointing score Thursday for Josh - you’ll need big games from Junt and Evans especially to stay competitive.
Discount Double Choke vs. Kiss my Bass
Washington’s D/ST really laid an egg on Thursday - they look like trash, which was a pleasant surprise to me. Hannah has pretty positive match ups across the board, and just as I think Aaron Jones might disappoint Mia because the Packers may run away with it early, I feel similarly about Rodgers and Davante Adams. If the Packers gets up big early and play conservatively with back ups for half the game I think I’m going to take the L.
Establish the Fun vs. Ridley Me This
Despite Ivan starting a backup RB this week I still like his chances, I think he squeaks by Brad this week behind big games from his three WRs. I predict a close game but I think Ivan has a better chance of fielding a player that goes off and puts up 40+.
Casa Gronka vs. Judge Jeudy
It feels somewhat safe to pick Drew here given the big game from Scary Terry, I think it will be close. CMC has traditionally struggled against the Saints, but given the key defensive players the Saints will be missing and Joe Brady’s play calling, I think he’ll be fine. I think coming into Monday night Richie will be in striking distance, but the Packers sans Za’darious Smith aren’t going to get it done, even against the Lions.
Chubby Choder vs. Kevin’s Little Beauties
This is a tough call, you’re both fielding strong teams this week. I think Chubb and Sanders are going to run wild and Dan wins while also putting up highest score in the league.
Best of luck to everyone! Have a restful, lazy Sunday.
Love,
Your Commissioners